A Gun in Every Room Thwarts Bad Guys
If you’re anything like us, you’ve probably scratched your head over having a gun around the house as a means of self-defense against marauding evildoers. We mean, how useful can a gun be in a dire situation if, as safety experts advise, you keep it secreted in a closet, in a box, unloaded? “Oh, wait a moment, Mr. Evildoer, while I retrieve my weapon and deal you your just desserts.” No doubt anyone of such evil inclination would be more than pleased to help you with your gun.
Well, seems we’ve been going about home self-defense with a gun all wrong. Thankfully, however, all-American tough guy and dispenser of rough justice, Jack Reacher, has finally addressed the pressing and crucial issue of guns in the home.
In his latest outing, Make Me, Reacher finds himself in a suburban manse with a family and his sidekick of the moment, Michelle Chang, minutes from confronting and dispensing with three paid killers. Prescient as always and traveling with the barest essentials, Reacher inquires if the soon-to-be victims might have a weapon in the home. Indeed, like all good Americans, they do.
Of course, where do they keep it? In a drawer by the bed in the bedroom, which proves very impractical, as Reacher relates. Because you are awakened. You’re groggy with sleep. Your reactions and reaction time are all off. Besides, evildoers usually don’t enter through the bedroom. They come in through the front door, according to Reacher. Reacher advises you keep your gun fully loaded by the front door, in a drawer or a vase, grips up. Not to be outdone, Chang amplifies with: “Technically our advice would be to conceal a separate firearm in each major zone of the house. The bedroom certainly, but also the kitchen area, the living area, the entrance lobby, upstairs if you have one, the basement if you have one, and the garage.”
The foregoing answers two questions many wonder about. Why the heck do people need so many guns? And where best to store them. But it raises many more questions, primary among them: why the heck are some people so paranoid? Perhaps they really believe they are living in an action thriller.
Anyway, thanks Reacher and Chang for the advice. And now it’s off to the local gun show to stock up on guns and ammo. We’ve got a big house to defend. w/c